"It might sound cliché but opposites attract."
you might want to believe a passive partner attracts a dominant partner. Its rare to see a dominant person attract another dominant. Dominant partners are partners who try to have a sort of hold on everything , be it conversations or anything that involves two people. They simply need someone to accommodate their ego. usually, they are never at a loss for words, often leaving the other partner overwhelmed, and giving them more power over their partner. This Could easily lead to an unbalanced relationship.
The passive partner, on the other hand would rather prefer to be left alone for the usually have little to say, and might just move along. But soon enough they realise that they are gradually losing a say in the relationship.
Usually these traits may remain undercover at the beginning of the relationship. No one wants to be seen with a bad behaviour then. As they progress to a deeper level where they feel more open 'then this traits become unhidden.
It might seem like the perfect relationship only when both look for an un compromised way to address the issue, but if let out of control the relationship could lead to a break. This is particularly difficult to maneuver for most couples.
In my relationships, i was always the passive one. I practically had to push myself to say a reasonable amount of words in a conversation. Most times when i tried to assert myself i came off as aggressive. My partner would always misinterpret my efforts as 'me trying to put up a fight'. I was always looking for the right words to say and always feeling like i was drowning. It just wasnt a natural part of my personality.
Usually you would discover the controlling partner tends to make much demands on their partner , having much to say and feeling like they have the right to tell others how to act or respond to situations. My dominant partner would aways respond to me with conditions to fulfil not knowing that he can have all the things he wants in life without placing conditions. This totally goes against the essence of a relationship. In asmuch as i try to please my partner ' it is his responsibility aswell.
The dominant partner might say things like: "if you dont respond to me with a full sentence then i wouldn't respond to you".
To co-exist, we need to learn to find the balance, encourage each other to speak their minds without criticism or judgement, support each other's growth, and develop a new kind of listening. There is the listening we do with our ears, but there is another kind that takes more work. It is more intuitive in nature, and involves reading body language, tone of voice, or lack of voice. It is the kind of listening that involves the heart. It takes empathy and keen attention. It is this level of communication that can make or break a relationship.
As relationships progresses' it is very important to accept your partner as they are, and realise everyone has flaws. Flaws makes each one beautiful in different ways. A dominant partner can help the passive partner find their voice with fair listening, and acknowledgement. Remembering to keep an open mind during communication. Where no one feels unheard or has more right to be heard.
What do you think?
By: Uju Morah